Its that time of year again, folks. The time when everything in the mall is red and green with a SALE tag and when all you hear on 97.3 EasyRock is Jingle Bell Rock and All I want for Christmas is you. Quite frankly, I find myself being Little Miss Scrooge this Christmas. I cannot stand to hear any more Christmas carols on the radio and if they play Last Christmas one more time, I might just punch someone in the throat. Don’t even get me started on Chipmunk Christmas songs. Who’s genius idea was it to annoy the crap out of everyone with that grabage?
Today, I went to the mall to do my “Christmas shopping”. I miss the days with my family when gift-giving was not the norm and you did not have to stress over what the hell each family member should get. I miss the days when Christmas decorations were put up on December 15th and Christmas CDs had carols like “First Noel”, “Carol of Bells” and “Oh Holy Night” instead of 7 different versions of Santa Baby.
I had a conversation the other day with one of my patients who was beside herself with stress and grief because she had to still go to shop for gifts for her mailman and her son’s first grade teacher. Her son is in grade 3!! This got me all stressed and bothered as I started to remember all sorts of people that I was going to have to buy gifts for. “You be ready”, she said. “What if they give you some thing for Christmas, and they didn’t make your list?”
She had a point. She was also appalled that I did not have a list.
Anyway, back to the point of this post…
So here I am at the mall, shopping for people I could care less about and hating everything because its God’s birthday and I’m broke in wallet and spirit. I won’t bore you with the details but I didn’t buy you anything. There were tons of things that I could have bought for my loved-ones, hated-ones and tolerated-ones but I couldn’t have been bothered waiting in line to pay for them. It was a complete waste of time. However, I did have a list of some items of need for myself. This winter I was in desperate need for some nice boots.
Here is the pretty boot(s) I had in mind:
Here are the pretty ugly boots I ended up buying:
In my defense, when I wear them to work tomorrow they will protect my poor feet from -43 degrees temperatures and will be completely waterproof! Take THAT you gorgeous hot tan to-die-for boots!
Number 2 on the list was a nice winter coat.
No dice on the coat.
Number 3 was a 2010 calender. I had my sights on a beautiful Quebec calendar, since I fell in love with the city when I visited last summer.
This is what I had in mind and in my hand for the longest time:
I dropped Quebec like a hot potato the moment I laid eyes on this:
I learnt a few things from this. I learnt that like many people, I was caught in the net of the Christmas GiftCurse. My list of need was more of a list of greed. I tried to think of what Jesus would do and I realised well, Jesus could care less about whether or not I had a Jacob purse or a cutsey coat or the fancy boots.
I’m sure He would be worried more about how cold my feet would be on my way to work, or how stupid I was to buy a completely ineffective winter coat. And as for the calendar, maybe its just time I move on from Quebec to some place warmer and more welcoming.
This year, I’m going to make your life easier. If I’m on your Christmas list, I ask you to please cut me off. If you bought me a Christmas gift, I ask you to please return it or give it to someone else. If you go to the mall and see something and say to yourself: “Hey! Thats something Karen would like!”, please do not buy it. Instead, I urge you to buy yourself something that you REALLY need instead. Like a good pair of fugly but warm and trustworthy winter boots.
So please burn all your lists. That way you will have more money in the bank, more time to spend with people you love, a little something-something for yourself and more time to maybe ask Jesus what He wants for his birthday. $50 bucks says He’s not asking for a flat screen TV this year. And if He is, they’re on sale at Sears. You’re welcome.