Monday morning and as per usual I’m running around like a headless chicken. I know at some point, this story gets old but bear with me because today there’s actually a point to this story.
Anyway, where was I? Yes, headless chicken running. I don’t know what came over me today but I decided to go all out. I straightened my hair, touseled in some Morrocan Oil and put on Friday morning make-up. Friday morning make-up is solely reserved for Friday (morning), but in my effort to inject some feel-goodness into my Monday morning, I said what the hell and went to town with it. The problem with having a beauty regime in the morning is that you have no time to do other things. Like put on your monster winter boots and run out the door. But boy! do you ever look and feel like a million bucks!
I get to Starbucks at 6:48am. My bus leaves in 7 minutes but I’m not sweatin’ it this time because I look hot and the bus probably won’t leave for about another 12 minutes anyway. The lady in front of me had to pay for her coffee. I wait patiently. 2 minutes and she’s still paying for her coffee. I then realise with sick horror that she’s off her rocker and is paying for her coffee in pennies!! IN PENNIES!! SERIOUSLY?! $1.79 IN PENNIES! WTF!
Several other people gathered in line behind me and this crazy woman’s still counting her money. I looked at my watch. 6:51am. I’m not going to make my bus. Dear Lord, I’m not making this bus. The woman finally counted her change and gave it to the Starbucks girl…WHO THEN PROCEEDS TO COUNT THE PENNIES HERSELF! Excuse me while I go and repeatedly bang my head against a wall. Was she concerned that the crazy woman had given her a penny short??
I finally get my coffee and jet. And course, half my coffee is all over me. I make it to the bus loop and I see my beloved 77 waiting patiently for me in its spot. Thank you Jesus! But then I realised with dread that my bus pass was in my other jacket pocket! NOOOOO!! I ran to the ticket booth to buy a ticket and by the time I had done that, I caught the last glimpse of the 77 leaving the bus loop.
I stood there forlornly, telling God I hated crazy penny lady and the starbucks girl and the fact that I reeked of coffee. But really, it was my fault. If I hadn’t been so damn VAIN this morning, I would have been on that bus.
Normally, my story would end here with some sort of lame sentence on how you have to see the silver lining and all that jizz-jazz. But today, the story goes on…
For reasons I’m not prepared to disclose, the continuation of this story will be left as a suspensful cliff hanger. If you would like to know the continuation and end of this story you may email me to recieve the full manuscript for a minimal fee of a grande Starbucks coffee (which is the only mode of payment for this reviting tale). I guarantee it will be well worth your $2.67 because who doesn’t want to hear a story involving a hot guy and a MAJOR lapse in professionalism (is that a word?) on my part. Ha.
Just dont pay for it in pennies.