So folks, its Mix-crap Monday again and of course I have my usual spaztastic stories for your Monday evening entertainment. Today’s involves:
– An age old Catholic tradition.
– My love-hate relationship with the damn 77.
-The gas station bathroom from hell.
None of these things have anything in common but just for kicks, I will attempt to tie them in together in the end somehow.
As most of you know, I ride the 77 every morning to work. To be honest, the 77 is slow. One sees turtles, snails, dead bugs and other seemingly lifeless objects trudging along faster. That being said, I thoroughly enjoy my morning commute. There’s nothing like riding along, listening to some great music, being one of the first to witness the sky lighting up for the day with the caffeine drug of choice in hand. This morning was no exception, except that today, I did not get my usual seat next to the pleasantly plum Indian lady. Courtesy of my usual Monday morning Starbucks almost-had-a-heart-attack run (I never learn), I got bumped down to economy class (the back of the bus).
Once my bus hits Promenade Mall, (this is roughly the mid point of my journey) I bust out the rosary and pray my heart out for various things like world peace, a good day for my bus buddies, family, friends, and of course for me not to do something foolish and/or idiotic at work that would get me yelled at or fired. Today though, I did not have the warmth and comfort of the pleasantly plump Indian lady and the chattering little Filipino ladies around me.
Today I was surrounded by mean looking, weird smelling construction workers all shooting me judgemental looks everytime I almost dug out the rosary. Making the Sign of the Cross was another ordeal. I could not bring myself to do it. With every ticking moment, I panicked. Cross yourself now! Think of all the people your not going to have time to pray for if you dont. Think of world peace! I decided I will do this for world peace and made the most pathetic Sign of the Cross.
The day went without a glitch. Work was a breeze! And when the clock hit 3:45 I happily began to pack up…when alas! Some woman walked in, insisted I spend 20 minutes talking to her about socks for cold feet and booked her a thousand appointments. By then I had missed my bus. I caught the 4:30 and got off on the highway to take the 77 home. I waited. And waited. I finally get on after half an hour.
Fiften minutes and 20,000 more people on the bus later, we hit the worst traffic in the history of traffic. We crawled along for another hour. In that time, I got hit bad by the pee monster. I was in serious pain and we were still on the highway with no end in sight. Fast forward to another 45 minutes when I got off the bus HALF AN HOUR before my stop almost in tears and limped to the gas station before my bladder burst. I dance around frantically until the man inside was done, got in and looked around horrified.
Lets just say this bathroom made bus station bathrooms in India look and smell like God’s garden in paradise. I peed for what seemed like forever. I then reach for the toilet paper only to find a piece of gum stuck in its place. GROSS! Not to mention, I was literally piss out of luck on the toilet paper.
I touch every thing with my sleeves, wash my hands and ran for my life out of there.
Forget swine flu or H1N1 or whatever fancy names you kids give the flu these days. I think I may have caught something even more deadly that evolved in the 3 minutes I spent in there.
No zumba class for this tired little toilet-paperless girl today 😦
Now as I sit here typing this in my warm bed, sipping on some not-so-delicious Cranberry tea, I look back fondly on my day with the words “good riddance” swimming in my head. Let me just say this, next time I feel shy or weird or downright embarassed to make the Sign of the Cross, I will try to remember that along with world peace, end to hunger and to not be a fool in life, I will also need time to pray for a bigger bladder, lesser traffic and bountiful toilet paper. Maybe I’ll even do a double cross…just for good measure.
And might I say, kudos to you for making it to the end of this long rant! 😉