Its raining on my Zen

Working in the health care field means that you constantly deal with people in pain. Some more so than others. Most conversations at work go like this: “Hey! How are you doing today?”

“Oh terrible! I’m in so much pain!” “My insurance isn’t paying for anymore treatments” “I lost my job” “I can’t sleep” “I’m depressed”
As much as you may psych yourself up with positivity and good feelings at the begining, by the end of the day, it really gets to you. Paolo Nutini and Jason Mraz sound completly different at 6:55pm than they did at 6:55am.

Every so often though, you get a patient that’s different. Someone who reminds you why you are here and how what you do makes a difference. One such patient, who we will call Ms. Wise did just that.
Ms. Wise has multiple blood clots in her lungs, she’s completley blind in one eye and losing it in the other. She takes 10-15 pills a day. She is visibly in immense pain all the time.
Considering this, she drives her Jeep to her physio appointments, she reads books, goes shopping, drives up to her cottage with her girlfriends, takes care of her late husband’s best friend who has Alzheimer’s and loves going to dinner at the Red Lobster.

She does a whole 45 minute work out with cardio and muscle strengthening at physio every Wednesday. She hates the pain but loves life too much to give up on it. She enjoys coconut soup and says she likes to buy her underwear at Victoria’s Secret. Ms. Wise also tured 82 last Sunday.

I deal with Debbie Downers and Walter Wet Blankets for about 8-10 hours a day. Then I get to go home, enjoy my Zumba class and forget all about my day. Ms. Wise does not enjoy the same priveledge but her music still sounds as vibrant as it did in the morning.

Today was one of those days where I really had to dig in deep to see good. It was a cold, wet miserable day and my three men for good zen were nowhere in sight. In my search of the day to find positivity and good, I thought of Ms. Wise and here’s what I came up with:

    Although I just couldn’t get out of bed this morning to go to work, I was very grateful to have a job to wake up for.

  • Although it was pissing rain outside this morning, I was very grateful that some kind woman shielded me with her umbrella while we waited for the bus.
  • Although my boss is very demanding sometimes, she is also extremely kind, understanding and always willing to help in whatever way she can.
  • Although I am not currently in the best of health, I am still able to thoroughly enjoy the little things we take for granted like a good appetite, a good night’s sleep, my super intense Zumba and Pilates classes and my morning commute.

And although today left me completley drained, exhausted, cranky and in tears, I made it to the end, sat with a very decent looking guy who smelt like heavenly goodness on the bus(which is VERY RARE when you are on the 77 or public transit in general) and had the most amazing yoga class. So I guess everything is okay in the end. And if its not okay, then its probably not the end.

What were you grateful for today?

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3 thoughts on “Its raining on my Zen

  1. Your blog entry. lol. I'm pulling an all-nighter, but I'm glad I'm in a program I'm in love with, that challenges me yet reminds me constantly why I love to sing. Thanks for writing.

  2. Great post. What a sweet woman, that Ms. Wise. She reminds me of my grandmother. I loved her dearly.

    I am grateful for a roof over my head, a warm bed to sleep in, a job, a protective dog, a piggy of a cat, a doting husband, and two beautiful children that mean the world to me.

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